It doesn’t take loads of incessant emails and ads soliciting me to buy something I don’t really need to remind me that there have been times in my life when I found it somewhat difficult to keep my eye on one particular ball among many bouncing balls. Perhaps it is just coincidence that finds me making this observation during the handful of days that includes Black Friday and Cyber Monday. Then again, it may just be that I’ve been struggling with this for quite some time now and it is just today, Cyber Monday, that I feel ready and willing to take it on again.
During my lunch time walk I gave this subject some thought and posed the possibility to a huge audience of one that the times when I have been able to focus intently on a certain issue or project has, I believe, most always been at the times of my life when I felt secure in my present state and had a roadmap to where I wanted or expected to be in the future. It has now been a couple years since I have felt that assurance.
At that time, I was two years after ending a relationship that had become toxic in my mind and was in the middle of a new relationship that seemed to be everything I had ever wanted and more. There were changes at work that presented new opportunities – the future seemed bright and comfortable with my situation, I was making plans for the future and creating a road map of how to get there. When I suddenly found that relationship floundering, that is when all the balls I had been juggling successfully fell from my hands and joined a myriad of balls bouncing around me. They have kept bouncing since.
It is my hope that along with other efforts on my part, sticking to this daily blog will bring back some focus so that I will again feel in control of this short life.